Words

Misunderstood. Restoration needed. Healing in the midst. Part and parcel of life. Stretched. Transition. Growing. Different. Expectations. Decisions. Courage to face the music. Demands. Pressure. Temptations to let go. Hang on, hang on!

"Your road led through the sea,
your pathway through the mighty
waters--
a pathway no one knew was there!
You led your people along that road
like a flock of sheep,
with Moses and Aaron as their
shepherds." - Ps77:19-20

There is a drawing
Reaching out from deep within
A cry and a petition
To break free from the words of man
Lay ahead many paths
Which I wonder the Lord delights
I long to be free
From the opinions of mankind
I long to be free
From the judgement of others
Why is it that we must hold grudges?
Why is it that we must harbour faults?
Isn't His love and forgiveness enough
To heal the wound inside?
Hasn't His grace and mercy touched us
To the point of letting go?
Haven't we learnt to practice grace?
Haven't we learnt to uphold truths?
O how can we hold on any longer,
That which blocks us from Him
O how can we deny anymore,
The distortion of sin that causes us not to forgive
Letting go, letting go
Let us not with hold
The gift of forgiveness
That will set us free
May we let Him have His way
Remember- If He is not Lord of All, He is not Lord at all.

Testimony!!!

Hey people, I missed u all! I haven't been able to update my blog due to some PC problems I was experiencing in my office. Now my PC is being restored!
Anyway, heresh a testimony- I have had a serious problem in accepting this particular person in my life and it has remained as a problem to me for quite some time. After some serious reflection and counseling from my pastor, I started to sought the Lord to help me. I asked God to help me to have a bigger heart, to accept the person in the way I am being accepted and loved by God and others...its really easy to say but a difficult thing to do!
Well anyway, I managed to come b4 God in prayer to seek fro help and strength. In His presence I was transparent about my ugly nature (of not being able to show love to this person) and I confessed my weakness and my need for His love to overtake me. indeed God is good, He answered my prayers and helped me to have gretaer patience and better attitude towards this person. Praise God for this little breakthrough! There'll be more to come....akan datang!

Frustration

I'm frustrated. Facing many things which I have yet to come to terms with. Its tough. My face is black. Its eating me up. I'm hanging on. Its alone once again. Hope I can come out soon. Waves after waves come crashing over me, I need 2 breathe. If I dun get out of it soon, I'll sink in........Lord, hold me!!!!!!!!!

shuhui ought not to see this...

This is a persian cat that entered a compeitition at International Cat Association Silver Anniversary Cat Show held in Canada. I think it looks kinda cute...its name is Princess, should be a girl ba. Actually I have this mentality that all persian cats are female cos they look pretty...hahahha..but how can it be right? Anyway..here it is.......

To shuch with love

To those of you out there who may or may not be Christians, I want you to know there is someone who loves us all so much that He gave. True love is about giving, not just receiving. What keeps a relationship between 2 persons together is the love of the Lord. In 1 John 4:19, it says : "We love because He first love us". What kind of love is it that comes out from mere man? Look at the world we live in. With all the abortion and divorce rates going up, with all the teens having STDs at as young as 15, with people in the working world gossiping about each other, with all the terrorists attacks, with all the weird diseases engulfing the nations, with the hurricanes and earthquakes, with child abuse, with prostitution and so much more! Are we that great and abled to give the kind of love that accepts all, cherishes all and gives all? We are all needy people when we reduce to our nakedness.
Think about it...Isn't it wonderful that we can have access to the perfect love from heaven? You might be thinking, is it possible? Yes it is indeed...He is love! Probably we've all been looking for love in the wrong places...we look to our close friends, our spouses, our possessions, our positions, our wealth, our achievements, our success but we experience that they did not satisfy us eventually. Ask a rich man who has earned his first million what his next goal is, he will say 'the next million'. We can never be satisfy by the things on this earth, if we can, we wouldn't be striving so hard to attain and to succeed in life. I'm not saying we stop all these and become a beggar on the streets and that would satisfy. I mean that we need to balance. We need the Lord Jesus Christ. Bible says that Christ died for us while we were yet sinners. Whoever out there is reading this, I pray that what you have read would open your eyes to see Him and know that He loves you and is waiting for your return to a personal relationship with Him.
Btw, heresh what Nick sent me, hope it'd bless you!

"As the morning light shine on my face,
I felt the Great Romancer say I love you.
Then I prayed 'Help me also to love her with this same love'
And He said 'Granted'." -1st Sep, 8:05am-

To Nick With Love =)

I love the way you look at me

I love the way you smile

I love the way you can laugh at my nonsense,

The way you think I am funny

You have been a gift to me,

Wrapped in God's amazing grace

How else can I cherish you,

Except to say I love you

And am blessed by your love....

Loving you with His love -shuch-

U R looking @ me

Hey...some updates here. Still feeling heavy 2day. I went 2 Christy's house to eat last night...her sister cooked. Yummy....then we had some sharing. After that I met Nick. Supposed 2 b going with him 2day but he starts work @3pm so we dun think so there's a possiblity that we could meet up. Its kinda sad tho...looks like we probably can't spend much time 2gether tis week cos the rest of our weekdays R packed.
Work can get irritating @ times when the people around do not cooperate well. Communication is such an important thing in working relationships...I really learned that. I must learn to speak up. I must not continue 2 withhold my thoughts and views.
Yest I sent an email to PCA, to update him about my life, my struggles. Honestly speaking, all the struggling is sucking away my energy...I need some replenishment. My heart and soul needs 2 find rest....I need space to breathe proper. I need time 4 my soul to recuperate and rejuvenate....right now its hard to really give...emotional tank is empty. I need a top up from the Lord. Those of my friends who R reading, do uphold me in prayer...I am but a normal human being, who goes through the usual and common struggles and challenges of life that any of the 22 year olds would walk through. Please do not see me as a superwoman....I am not. But I am wanting to experience my super God intervene in my life...to rescue me from the vaccum of this world, that seeks to suck me away from my footing.

Stripped away, torn apart

What is left behind?

I see my hurts, my scars and my ugliness

As I stand before You Lord

Troubles come my way

Threats seek to devour me

Trapped in the weight of unforgiveness

I only stand regret

If only, how I wish

Are but useless now

The maze of life bounds me in

Seeing myself repeat the same old thing

When can I come out?

When can I be free?

Lord only You can rescue me

I fear to stretch out my hand

I fear to walk alone

Will it be too difficult for me?

Will it be too painful then?

Lord hear my cry

Lord draw me close

To the place where You are

-shuch-

testing pic

This is Quill the puppy....the show made me cry. Infact all the girls were crying because it is one of those shows that talks about the life of a guide dog, which had a special affinity and empathy to its friend (a blind man)...the dog's eyes seem so real, as though really expressing sorrow and confusion when the blind man died. Yup...animal lovers beware, you will definitely cry after the show...

Inspiration late in the night

Looking ahead the fear sets in

Knowing that situations are there

Waiting to engulf me, to challenge me

Enticement from this world are luring me

Further away from Your truth

Waves of reality came crashing over,

Came crashing over me

But my heart cries out to You my Lord

Who picked me out of the miry clay, and

Gave me a place to set my footing strong

Leaning on Your truth, dying to myself

Taking up the cross

Jesus help me follow You

- shuch-

heavy morning

Hello..its been heavy upon my heart ever since I fell asleep...think last night I hung all the clothes and I was dead beat tired so I slept right away. Its was like my eyes were battling to keep awake and I could feel the protest of my body- You need to rest! My heart was heavy...found out that one of the members had probably had been lying to us all these few years. Its sad you know....why are the generation of Christians now so shallow and hard 2 be influenced? Ben was right...he said that nowadays we seldom hear of any of the youths wanting to die for Jesus, wanting to be missionary. wanting to give their all to Jesus...Lord, what is happening? My heart beats 2 c e youths soar with the Lord...I wanna c disciples raised, I wanna c people who r fervent and passionate for Jesus raised out from me, I wanna c youths rise 2 c their potential and live 4 the Lord!
K, coming back 2 all e heaviness I mentioned in line 1....I dreamt of the member again. I think its anxiety that I'm experiencing. I don't seem to know how to discipline my thoughts and emotions when it comes 2 e ple ard me being in trouble or 'not right' in their spiritual life, especially members. I woke up today...felt such a dread inside of me...I hate 2 repeat but I can't seem 2 find better words 2 describe...it sucha sense of heaviness within me.
But Nick was nice, he sent me an sms which brought a smile 2 my face...it was like: "Wow, I never knew Nick would say such things!" hahahahahaha.....Nick if U r reading, sorry la....this is where I wanna express myself freely so pardon me k? =)
Lord, I struggle 2 forgive. Ps Suz said I need 2 forgive myself 1st b4 talking abt forgiving the other party. I felt its so difficult....this sense of injustice, sense of betrayal I felt is so much stronger and real than what I know in my mind that the Lord would want me to do. Its so easy 2 tell my members not to harbor any unforgivness 2wards someone.....now I'm tasting it. I need 2 let go of my rights. I probably need 2 talk it out with the person I felt offended by. I need 2 release forgivness....Lord please help me. I've seen Your grace in my life, I've tasted of Your goodness, mercy and love....so therefore I must set myself free from this...

I'm forgiven because You were forsaken

I'm accepted, You were condemned

I'm alive and well

Your spirit lives within me

Because You died and rose again

Amazing love how can it be

That You my King would die for me

Amazing love I know its true

Its my joy to honour You

In all I do, I honor You

This is a song that speaks of the love and works of Christ for me. I dun wanna grow accustomed or familiar with it but I wanna let the words melt away the grudge against myself...

well well well..

Well...I installed the picassa thingy and the hello..but I still can't download pictures. Either there's something wrong wif my PC, server or me...I wonder which has a higher possibility? ahhahaha
I've been wanting to watch this Jap movie on a dog- Quill. Anyone heard of it? The publicity is low, but tell you...the show is touching lor. I saw the trailer and I felt like crying...the sad parting between the man and the dog. Perhaps I'll go watch it with Nick sometime this week or next...
Its been kinda boring at work today cos it seems like everyone's on leave...but the thing is when they come back, there's where the work will flood in! Argh....I wanna quit my job and be a tai tai...I wanna be able to go to some cafe and drink coffee, relax, laid back and chat with other tai tai frens of mine. ahhahaha.....FAT hope, slim chance! To be honest, I'm still praying and asking God for direction in my life...I can't possibly stay here in this freezing lab for the rest of my life...For those of my frens who r reading this and r shocked by my secret desires....welcome to shuch's world! I wanna do something human...yet I'm afraid to really go out there n explore...its like you want something but u r afraid to face e real thing and b prepared to pay wateva price u need in order 2 attain it. Inside of me I still have a lot of smallness la...cos the world can b very scary n demanding. I am but a 22 yr old....wanting 2 find something that would bring me a sense of satisfaction thru the things I can do.
Well...Christians who r reading this, please pray 4 me...sometimes it can get overwhelming.. Family needs as well....its really such a challenge to press in 2 c them get saved. It seems so impossible....so difficult. But I remembered telling someone...'Never say its difficult until you have tried'....so I gotta live this out man! O Lord...uu c my needs...
"Your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the kingdom of God your primary concern"- Mt 6:32-33
Yup that's exactly what I need....I caught myself debating...why do I hafta serve God n yet continue 2 c my family like this? Why shud I serve God? Perhaps I shud scringe on my service towards Him..?? I guess these r really some very hard things I gotta clarify with my soul...Am I serving out of expecting Him to bless me? Jia lat....Lord please help me to balance my life properly....sometimes its really tough....Lord..guide me!!!!